More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults With ADHD by Ari Tuckman

Author:Ari Tuckman
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Specialty Press
Published: 2009-04-01T21:00:00+00:00

MORE ATTN LESS DEF 6 X 9 4/3/09 12:53 PM Page 194

194 S E C T I O N I I I

B U I L D T H E N E C E S S A R Y S K I L L S

so addressing the causes will give you a double benefit when you find it easier to control your temper.

Perfectionism: Almost Always Overrated (p. 238) Some adults with ADHD

compensate for their failures by going for perfection. Although this makes sense in a way, it tends to make things worse.

ADHD, Eating Disorders, and Weight Management (p. 234) Some new research is showing that people with ADHD are more likely to develop eating disorders or at least have trouble controlling their weight. Although this may bring some extra challenges, getting on top of your ADHD may also benefit your eating habits.

I’m Only Getting Treatment to Shut You People Up

When one person has ADHD, his whole family kind of has it too. They’re the ones who need to tie up the loose ends, give the reminders, and deal with the tasks that aren’t done by the person with ADHD— and deal with their anxiety and frustration over all these things. As a result of this impact, family members and others are often the ones pushing the person with ADHD to seek treatment. This is most common for young adults who are receiving strong pressure from frustrated parents, but it could also be romantic partners doing the pushing. Even if they don’t know that the person has ADHD, they know there’s something going on that needs to be improved. This is a natural setup for the person with ADHD to, at best, not feel invested in the process or, at worst, be downright resentful about it.

He may then give some halfhearted effort, secretly hoping that the treatment doesn’t help so he can tell everyone that he tried and now they need to leave him alone. Of course, this lack of effort becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I can understand that hesitation, since nobody likes to be told what to do, especially if it’s about a sensitive topic. However, your family might be on to something that’s worth checking out. Like I tell my teenage clients who are dragged in by their parents, “Since you have to come here anyway, you may as well get something out of the time, even if it isn’t exactly what your parents want.” By the same token, although you should take your family’s concerns seriously, your treatment is really for you. If you have ADHD, or whatever, it affects you more than it affects anyone else, so you have the most to gain from working on it. Your family also stands to benefit, but that shouldn’t be the only reason to seek treatment—

let them see someone if it is.

You should also know that there’s something really interesting that happens when someone begins to get on top of his ADHD: it becomes clear that other people in the family also have their own things to work on.

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